On the 12th Day of Christmas Comfort...

Welcome back to our final day of Christmas Comfort. I'd like to thank all the lovely people who wrote guest posts for this series, it could not have happened without all of you.

There are so many big and little ways we can give over the holidays. I wrapped up two pieces of my art and dropped them off at JJ Bean Coffee, where they are collecting gifts for children and teens in need. I loved that they included teens in their donations, because they are often over-looked.

But here's the thing. Whether during the holidays or any other day of the year, you can't give from a place of lack. At least, not without doing damage to yourself. And over my life I have done just that, repeatedly. I gave to others until I had nothing left for myself. What I have learned is that self-care is the most caring thing I can do for the people in my life. Self care and gratitude fill me up so that I have more to give.

So I hope that you can take some time over the holidays to do something that brings you joy, something that fills you up. Because you matter, and your happiness matters.

Happy Holidays,

Joyelle

The 11th Day of Christmas Comfort

Today I am not rushing

Guest post by

by Lisa A. McCrohan

 

Today I am not rushing.  Even as I write this, I feel the old familiar desire to speed up and check things off my “to do” list before I pick the kiddos up from school.  I look around me – the sliding glass door in our kitchen that leads to the backyard has handprints all over it.  I look at the file “Barefoot Barn Website Edits” on my desk (along with crafts to complete, paperwork to file, handmade cards to complete) — I’ve wanted to create a “shop” on the Barefoot Barn’s website for two years now.  I have Christmas presents to make.  Our Christmas tree lays on our deck.  An elderly family member could use a card.  I have a workshop to finish planning.  The other day, our son looked at the floor of our minivan with clementine peel scraps, crusty pasta curls, “special rocks” collected by our daughter, and said, “Mom, we gotta clean this out.”

Lingering.

But today, I am not rushing.  I am slowing down as I type.  I’m slowing down as I drive.  I’m not rushing my three year old in and out of the car.  I’m not looking around and noticing what’s left undone (ok, sort of!) or out of order.  I’m not filling my time with another commitment or task.
Some things will be left undone.  Some things won’t ever get tended to.  Some dreams and plans and work will take longer (much longer) than years ago.  Maybe the Barefoot Barn shop won’t be up for another few years.  Maybe the book I dream of writing will happen many years from now.  The dishes will stay in the sink a bit longer.  The  Christmas table runner will not get ironed.  We may not even take a family photo before Christmas (and send it out!).

Today I am not rushing.  I am lingering.

Sitting with my daughter and playing with the Nativity playset.  Calling my mom.  Slowing down to save energy for when my son comes home from school. Looking at my husband when he comes home today.  Writing to a few individual people who are on my heart.  Intentionally pausing.
Today I am not rushing.  I am lingering.

I want to get up and check email, go on Facebook, straighten the kitchen, create a workshop for January….I feel the urge to stay busy, but I see how that leads me to being highly distracted by what doesn’t matter.

These little moments lingering in the imperfect, the “undone,” the messy aren’t obstacles.  My two little ones asking for “warm milk in a bottle, please” or “how do you spell…….?” or “mom, will you sleep with me tonight?” aren’t distractions keeping me from getting things done – “real” and “important” things.  They are Gems.  Gems that remind me of what is most important.  Gems that make me exhale, open, and soften.  Gems that turn off the “fight, flight or freeze” and turn on “rest and digest.”  Gems that soothe and heal taunt nerves.

It takes effort.  It takes mindful attention.  Why?  We live in a culture of hurry, worry, and busy.  The greatest addiction of our times is this hurrying.  It keeps our nervous system amped up.  It narrows our attention – we get really myopic in our thinking.  It keeps us believing in a world of scarcity, creating separation and…loneliness.  It takes us further and further away from our hearts and doing what matters most.  With all our fancy apps and gadgets, we are actually LESS efficient.

Many years ago, my mom gave me a book of poetry by Hafiz.  One line has accompanied me on the days when I want to get more done, when I get so serious, when I get so lost in the mistaken belief that I am not doing or being enough: “One regret, dear world, that I am not willing to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough.” 

There will be many things left undone.  Today and in my lifetime. When I remind myself to slow down and not rush, what is most important becomes clearer.  When I choose to linger instead of hurrying, I see all these opportunities in our everyday life to kiss this world.

* Dear readers, I am glad you are here today.  Will you join in me in slowing down?  Can you spend one moment lingering instead of hurrying?  Maybe looking at your partner when you both arrive home for the day, gently touching your son’s cheek, looking at your daughter as she tells you a story, and letting go of “doing it all?”

In solidarity,
Lisa A. McCrohan, MA, LCSW-C, RYT
Visit the Barefoot Barn for more information or contact me about mindful coaching, psychotherapy, workshops and retreats

On the 10th day of Christmas Comfort

It's day 10 of our exploration of how we can be kinder to ourselves and others over the holiday season. And I have been sick for the past two weeks. And my boy has an ear infection and the baby has a mysterious rash on his face. So I am going to go deal with those things and I'll see you back here tomorrow with another lovely guest post by Lisa from Barefoot Barn.

Happy Holidays,

Joyelle

On the 9th Day of Christmas Comfort...

Welcome back to our exploration of how we can be kinder to ourselves and and others during the holiday season!

Guest post by Sharily Kuehnel

I love to pamper myself and others during these cold winter months- an easy way to show a friend a little bit of comfort is to whip up some home made bath products- as gentle on the earth as they are on your skin. One of my favourite products is this yummy salt scrub- I was gifted this salt scrub in the summer to use on my dry cracked heals and it worked like a treat. I knew I had to get the recipe for myself and make up a batch to give as gifts- I enjoyed it just that much! Gifted in small 2 oz glass Mason jars with a sprig of ever green on top- this really is the perfect low key gift for any friend on your list!

 

 

1 tablespoon bees wax

1 tablespoon shea butter

1/4 to 1/2 cup of coconut oil

1/2 cup to 1 cup fine sea salt

1 teaspoon jojoba oil

10 drops of essential oils- your choice

- start by melting all the oils and bees wax in a bain marie (double boiler)

- add in salt slowly once oils are melted together

-- for a coarser scrub add more salt

- dispense into cute jars

This is a great scrub for dry skin in the winter- lather on legs ( I use it on my elbows) and rinse off before exciting shower or tub

- this is an oily product so be careful getting out of the tub and don't sit directly on delicate fabrics

Sharilyn Kuehnel is a full time work from home Momma- a Jill of all trades- she blogs over at Weekdays From Scratch

about living a creative and slow life in the heart of the city- she would rather be sitting beside a campfire than washing dishes!

 

On the 8th Day of Christmas Kindness

Sometimes there is a moment when you see the fragility in life and remember that it can be all too fleeting. For me, it has happened this week as the Mossom Creek Fish Hatchery burned to the ground. Thankfully, no people were hurt, but hundreds of baby salmon perished, and a magical place was lost. I know that the strong community of volunteers will band together and find the support they will need to re-build. But still, it is a loss. And every time I see a photo of the charred ruins, I want to cry. So I won't show you those pictures, I will show you some of the many photos I have taken there over the last few years.

Today I want to say, be grateful for those good things. Those places that bring you home to yourself. The people who you call when you are having a bad day. Just stop and be grateful for all the good in your life.

All the green, growing things of this earth, all the fish in the streams, all the water we drink and the air that we breathe. Be grateful for it all. 

Happy Holidays,

Joyelle

P.S. Here is a video I created with J Peachy of a song I wrote about Mossom Creek. You can see why I love this place so much.

On the 7th Day of Christmas Comfort...

Welcome back to our exploration of how we can be kinder to ourselves and and others during the holiday season!

Is anyone else finding that their to-do list is exploding? I am just about bursting over here. I'd like to give out some props to all the moms and dads out there who are working really hard to give their kids happy holiday memories. I know how much work it is, and you are so tired. It is really amazing how much we will do for them. And yet, sometimes we need to let go of all the to-do and just be in the moment with them. Gabe asked me if he could stay home yesterday. He had a runny nose, but really he could have gone to school. However, there was snow on the ground, and here on the west coast you may only get one day of it. He wanted to play in the snow with me. He didn't want to go play with all his friends at school, he wanted to play with me. So that's what we did. We made a tiny snow-man, pulled out the beach tools and made snow castles, and then played Hulk smash and destroyed them all (baby Gavin thought that part was hilarious).

The lesson I took from snow day is that it is important to stop and play. Today that means my kind of play, exploring new art techniques with the book Painted Pages by Sarah Ahearn Bellemare. Lately I have been so busy with art making that feels more like another item on the to-do list than my spiritual calling. Play takes me back to my source, back to the reason I started making art in the first place. It gives me a place to process pent-up emotions and remember who I truly am.

So my wish for you today, is that you get a few moments to play.

Happy Holidays,

Joyelle

Day 6 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort

 

Just my Cup of Tea

Guest post by Amber Strocel

When Joyelle put out the call for contributors to her Christmas Comfort series, I didn't think twice. I was in. It sounded like just my cup of tea. I sent her an email and let her know that I hadn't decided exactly what to write about yet, but that I would update her as soon as I settled on something. And then ... nothing.

I found this task of writing about kindness surprisingly difficult. I'm not sure why. I think of myself as a kind person. I volunteer with moms and new babies. I try to be a good listener. I work hard to be loving and gentle with my kids. And yet, when I tried to come up with a small act of kindness for the holiday season I drew a total blank.

There's a backstory here, which I should probably explain. I have worked really, really hard to reduce my holiday workload. I politely decline invitations, so that my schedule doesn't get too full. I eschew handmade gifts, not because I don't enjoy making things (I love making things), but because I don't want to put undue pressure on myself. I gave up on sending Christmas cards years ago. I love Christmas, and I want to keep on loving it, so I do my very best to reduce the number of commitments I'm making to myself and others.

Keeping all of that in mind, adding a kindness project to the mix - even a small kindness project - felt like it went against the grain of my holiday ethic. The answer immediately became clear: I needed to write about how I'm being kind to myself over the holidays.

I have been a tea hoarder for years. I can't walk by a tea shop without buying a new tea (or three). The resulting collection is a sight to behold. When I open my tea drawer for visitors, I often hear an audible gasp. However, for years I didn't drink a lot of tea. I just never quite got around to it. Recently that's changed, for various reasons. In part, I started drinking more tea to justify my tea stash to my husband. In part, I started drinking more tea because I'm trying to reduce my energy consumption by turning the furnace down this winter. And in part I've started keeping my kettle on the counter, instead of having to dig it out every time I want to make tea.

 

Sitting down in the morning to drink a hot cup of tea has become a welcome ritual for me. It's a small thing that I do entirely for myself. After the weekday rush of getting two kids up and dressed, fed and clean, with lunches made and backpacks packed, I need a few minutes to calm down. That cup of tea is just the ticket.

And so, this is the act of self-care I'm engaging in this holiday season. I'm taking time every day to drink a hot cup of tea. It's a small thing, but it grounds me, calms me, and reminds me that I matter. Because I do - and you do, too. I invite you to grab your own hot beverage of choice, and join me.

Amber Strocel is a writer, editor, mother, dreamer and soon-to-be second-time university student. Fingers crossed that a teaching degree turns out to be a better fit for her than her engineering degree was. She lives in the Vancouver suburbs with her husband, two elementary school age children, and one extremely grumpy cat. She works as the Managing Editor of VancouverMom.ca, and she maintains a personal blog at Strocel.com.

Day 5 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort

Welcome back to our exploration of how we can be a little kinder and gentler with ourselves and each other over the holidays this year. Just a brief post today, to remind us all to 

STOP

and

BREATHE.

Then turn to the person closest to you (and if you are alone, that is you!) and smile. And tell them one thing that you love and appreciate about that person (and if you are alone, that is you!). That's all. 

Happy Holidays,

Joyelle

Day 4 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort

Welcome to Day 4 of our small acts of kindness to self and others to nourish the soul over the holidays. I am so excited to share this post with you from one of my favourite artist/bloggers, Lise Meijer. Lise graciously allowed me to re-print this post from her blog for this series.

True joy under the tree

by lisemeijer

Strange how we humans create traditions and then keep them up long after no one can remember or manifest their true meaning. Strange how just a little awareness can shift that.

“Joy under the tree”. New painting. Available for purchase HERE, as the very first of a series of small and affordable paintings on Etsy, yay!

One day a most wonderful Christmas tree presented itself to me. A tree standing alone in a winter landscape. And yet not alone.  It was part of a beautiful world of life, not visible to the eye unless you were able to see through the cold winter earth beneath its roots. There were presents under the tree! But a very special kind. The kind that makes you still with wonder and joy. They were pure life energy and juices from trees and plants withdrawn into the ground to be stored and renewed during the cold season. And they were wrapped in a deep understanding of the cycle of life and death.

I saw a world of promise and new life. Forces making ready for the year to come. And I noticed how the tree was settled, knowing that what the eyes can´t see is still there, as pure joy under the surface. That this is another kind of spring, felt by those who are able to be so still that they can hear what goes on under the surface.

Detail from York Minster

This December I will try once again. To do what I can and leave the rest. And not be driven by traditions. But rather use them as an opener and guide to what may be a hidden truth. Remembering that true presents has joy and connection and don´t come with a demand. I know it´s not easy in this world. But I firmly believe we can create our own new traditions, little by little. Traditions connected to something true. Something real. Even if it´s something we can´t see it with the eyes.

Here´s to lots of  true joy under the trees this year!!!

Xx Lise.

Lise Meijer is a Danish artist. She believes that Creative Vitamins has an important part to play in this world and she contributes through art, teaching and  writing. Lise is inspired by simple truths; “things that lift human beings to more than we thought we could be.”

Day 3 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort

Guest post by Kathleen Tennant

Some thoughts on being kinder to ourselves and others over the holidays...

I personally find it astonishing that we need a movement to be kind.  I am pretty sure 90% of the human population was taught or will teach our children to be kind; our children then grow up and become adults who, in theory should be kind, right?  Life has shown us this isn't so.  Some people are very unkind.   What makes someone act in unkind ways is often a mystery to those on the receiving end but slinging unkind back is never the answer; even if sometimes is feels good in the moment. Unkindness should be met with compassion.  What if the person being unkind has never been met with kindness, or alternatively feels threatened by it.  Kindness is an extension of love and being kind is sometimes hard for someone who is hurting.   The outer shell shows one thing but our inner beings are shielded.  

Print available to purchase at Kathleen's Etsy shop

Being kind doesn't have to cost money.  Being kind is truly as simple as a gesture of smiling, holding the door open for someone who has his or her hands full or actively listening when someone is talking.  Being kind doesn't have to be showy; in fact it should just be done, without thinking as part of human nature. Being kind is being compassionate.  I believe in order for people to understand kindness they need to see acts of kindness happening.  As a society rather than buying the person Starbucks behind you (which is awesome) how about modeling every day kindness by simply noticing what is around you.  Does someone seem down?  Offer a smile.  Is your friend hurting? Offer to listen or better yet, ask what they need to make them feel better and be prepared to actually hear their needs.  A genuine act of kindness has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the recipient.  A simple act of kindness is an extension of love...

Kathleen Tennant is a mixed media artist who

loves the way torn papers mesh with paints

and inks. Her work is full of colour and texture,

which represents life as she sees it, torn edges

and all.

Her art’s purpose is to inspire people to focus

on life’s positives and toss their worries to the

wind. Kathleen’s art is reproduced on a variety

of products varying from her own line of

stationary products to home decor, phone

cases and laptop skins. All original works are

created in Kathleen’s home studio.

Day 2 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort

Welcome back to our exploration of how we can be a little kinder and gentler with ourselves and each other over the holidays this year. If you read yesterday's post you know that I am a recovering perfectionist and control freak. Yes, it's true. Some of you reading might be familiar with this problem. I'm going to admit in writing that I'm pretty sure that whatever needs to be done I can do it better than all you all, and therefore I will try to do everything myself because you people are not to be trusted. Don't take it personally, I really do like you. It's just that I want it done MY way. Did you not read yesterday that I made my baby cry because he was messing up my Christmas house decorating? I'm crazy, I'll admit it. And I can look back at several times in my life when I have caused myself and others a great deal of stress because of this little insanity. But in the past few years I have finally started to let go a bit, and realize that I can get more done if I actually ask for help. So it may not be done perfectly, it may not be done the way I would do it, but it gets done. And that's a big step for me.

And so when I came up with the idea for writing these 12 days of Christmas Comfort and started feeling a little over-whelmed by the task that I had set for myself, a crazy thought occurred to me. I could ask for help! I know lots of bloggers, and a few of them might even be willing to write some posts about this. And what do you know, some lovely ladies stepped up to the plate and wrote beautiful, heartfelt posts and sent them to me. They even got their posts written before I had started writing mine. So maybe there is something to be said for this asking for help thing.

Tomorrow will be our first guest post, written by my lovely friend and talented artist, Kathleen Tennant.

Is there something over the holidays that is starting to feel over-whelming to you? Is there someone you could ask for help? Can you let go just a little to make room for that help?

Wishing you all Happy Holidays

Joyelle

Day 1 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort

Hello beautiful people!

Welcome to Day 1 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort, small acts of kindness to self and others to nourish the soul during the holidays.

Around here we are gearing up for the holidays, which means making a giant batch of gingerbread men, Christmas carols playing non-stop and house decorating (my favourite part of it all). This can be a magical time of year, full of warm fuzzies and peace, love and joy. But it can also be a time of insane over-busy-ness, stress and a whole lot of family drama. We live in a culture of Perfectionism, and the holidays bring out the worst of it. We want to have a picture-perfect holiday but the reality is that there is no such thing. And if we can let go of that idea that we need to control everything then maybe we can have a little more fun and occasionally laugh at the craziness of it all.

Take for instance, my attempts last weekend to decorate the house with two small boys, age 6 1/2 and 18 months. I brought up three boxes of Christmas decorations and started going through them with the boys. It started out alright, with Gabe and Gavin turning the boxes of the advent calendar around to re-set it for the new year. But about ten minutes later it was pure pandemonium. The baby was throwing everything he could get his hands on over the baby gate and down the stairs, and Gabe was grabbing everything out of the boxes (including some very breakable items) and randomly setting them down in different places around the house. This to my type-A virgo personality is the ultimate chaos and drives me completely insane. I was pretty much on the edge of tears when I shouted "Would everybody just STOP for a minute!" Which then made the baby cry and Gabe's bottom lip quiver in that way that makes me feel like the worst mom in the world.

I felt like a big jerk. The image I had in my head of us all having a lovely morning peacefully decorating the house together fell apart. We rushed to finish the decorations and then had to run out the door to get Gabe to a birthday party. And that's life. And if I had a little more self compassion and recognized my own craziness maybe I could laugh about it instead of wanting to cry. I'm trying to get there. To let go of perfect and just be with whatever happens. To accept that my house will be a mess, that I will get sick or kids will get sick, that I will forget things I am supposed to do, that I will be perfectly imperfect, and it's all ok.

So today, on our first of 12 days of Christmas Comfort, my message to you is this: forget about perfect. And when you feel that surge of crazy well up inside of you, try to laugh at your own insanity. And then maybe grab a glass of wine and call a friend who can help you put it all in perspective.

Happy Holidays All,

Joyelle

Coming soon...

Starting December 7th

Small acts of Kindness and Self Care

 to nourish your soul during the holiday season.

With Joyelle Brandt, Amber Strocel,

Kathleen Tennant, and Sharilyn Kuehnel.