Book Update, or, battling the perfectionist

So last week I finished the final painting for the book. And the next day, I wanted to burn them all. Ok, maybe not all of them, but there are a couple that I am not thrilled with. And it brings up the question of when to stop and when to keep going. Is my inner perfectionist coming our right now? Oh yes. So to appease her but limit how long I spend obsessing over this, I decided to allow myself to re-do the two paintings that I dislike the most.

So did that, and it's all good. Now on to the manuscript. I know there are a few stanzas that are not as strong as others. So how much time and effort do I put into re-working them, and how do I know when it is done? I don't know how authors do this. I am used to writing songs. They are short, and generally I don't re-work a song much. If it doesn't come together, I let it go and move on to another song. So much easier!

But here is the real question: When is it good enough? And it is no coincidence that this issue is coming up for me. You see, I set an intention at the beginning of this year of radical self acceptance. And it's funny how once you set the intention, the universe goes about testing that in every aspect of your life. 

We live in a culture that inundates us with messages of "Not Enough" daily. According to Dove, even our underarms need a little help! Everywhere you go there is an impossible standard of perfection being flaunted. And as women, we are really sensitive. This stuff gets under our skin. A few months ago I took Brene Brown's online course "The Gifts of Imperfection". The first assignment she gave us was to write "I'm imperfect, and I'm enough" on our hands and then take a selfie. Well that is an exercise in acceptance all by itself!

What I learned as I started to tune in was how often I judged myself, in every single aspect of my life. My appearance, my parenting, my purchasing, my creativity... the list went on and on. So here I am again, re-learning this lesson of acceptance. Reminding myself that I do not have to perfect, and neither does my work. I just have to be real.

So it's back to work for me, reminding myself along the way that kindness and compassion to self is the starting point, and the middle point, and the end point of this journey. I read a quote recently that to achieve success without happiness is the greatest failure of all. And I have enough experience with that to know that it is true. I want to enjoy this journey that I am on. So that's what I will do.

Love, kindness & gratitude,

 

Shining her light of love

Just sharing this fantastic quote I just discovered. 

I am currently taking Brene Brown's online course 

and this quote really sums up why it is so important to do this work.

I am convinced more and more every day

that embracing a whole hearted life is the best

way to heal this world.

Anyone else out there taking Brene's class?

I'd love to hear about your thoughts.

 

Just a little reminder to me

I'm taking this class with Brene Brown right now. This week we are focusing on self compassion, and I am discovering just how often I beat myself up. Like, a lot. Today I made a mistake and the self talk that followed was not particularly kind. I know that I need to learn how to be kinder to myself if I want to spread kindness in the world. It's funny how much easier it is to give kindness to others, isn't it?

So I made this little reminder, to help me today and every other day that I hold myself to impossible standards. I am human, I am trying my best, that is enough.