December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)
I skipped out on writing about the Let Go Prompt because the subject matter felt too personal to post on a blog. When I saw this prompt, my first response was to do the same. But without getting into the details, I can say that the best decision I made this year was to seek counselling. I am not very good at asking for help, so it took me longer than it probably should have to admit that I was in over my head and could not see a way out. But once I made that decision, and sat down for my first session with her, I felt a shift inside of me. I could see an end point. It's like when I was 10 and I got really sick with tonsillitis for months on end. When I was finally admitted to the hospital for a tonsillectomy, I was so relieved that I knew I was going to get better. After you are sick for a while, you start to forget what it feels like to be healthy.
What I learned from this experience is that I need to ask for help sooner. I remember in my first session with the counsellor feeling ashamed that I had let myself get to such a low point. I remember feeling that I was broken in a way that made me lesser or different than other people.
Once I was willing to make getting better my first priority, my life changed within a few weeks. With a great counsellor, acupuncturist and chiropractor, I was able to heal both the mental and physical damage from the extreme stress that I had been under. And when life threw another crazy situation my way, I was able to go through the processing without feeling like I was going to drown.
The wisdom that I gained this year is that I am not as broken as I thought, and I can come back from a very dark place to find joy in every day.