Saturday, December 7, 2013

Day 1 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort

Hello beautiful people!

Welcome to Day 1 of 12 Days of Christmas Comfort, small acts of kindness to self and others to nourish the soul during the holidays.

Around here we are gearing up for the holidays, which means making a giant batch of gingerbread men, Christmas carols playing non-stop and house decorating (my favourite part of it all). This can be a magical time of year, full of warm fuzzies and peace, love and joy. But it can also be a time of insane over-busy-ness, stress and a whole lot of family drama. We live in a culture of Perfectionism, and the holidays bring out the worst of it. We want to have a picture-perfect holiday but the reality is that there is no such thing. And if we can let go of that idea that we need to control everything then maybe we can have a little more fun and occasionally laugh at the craziness of it all.

Take for instance, my attempts last weekend to decorate the house with two small boys, age 6 1/2 and 18 months. I brought up three boxes of Christmas decorations and started going through them with the boys. It started out alright, with Gabe and Gavin turning the boxes of the advent calendar around to re-set it for the new year. But about ten minutes later it was pure pandemonium. The baby was throwing everything he could get his hands on over the baby gate and down the stairs, and Gabe was grabbing everything out of the boxes (including some very breakable items) and randomly setting them down in different places around the house. This to my type-A virgo personality is the ultimate chaos and drives me completely insane. I was pretty much on the edge of tears when I shouted "Would everybody just STOP for a minute!" Which then made the baby cry and Gabe's bottom lip quiver in that way that makes me feel like the worst mom in the world.

I felt like a big jerk. The image I had in my head of us all having a lovely morning peacefully decorating the house together fell apart. We rushed to finish the decorations and then had to run out the door to get Gabe to a birthday party. And that's life. And if I had a little more self compassion and recognized my own craziness maybe I could laugh about it instead of wanting to cry. I'm trying to get there. To let go of perfect and just be with whatever happens. To accept that my house will be a mess, that I will get sick or kids will get sick, that I will forget things I am supposed to do, that I will be perfectly imperfect, and it's all ok.

So today, on our first of 12 days of Christmas Comfort, my message to you is this: forget about perfect. And when you feel that surge of crazy well up inside of you, try to laugh at your own insanity. And then maybe grab a glass of wine and call a friend who can help you put it all in perspective.

Happy Holidays All,


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